Logically Illogical
by Shadowkitty22
Summary: Collection of Puckelberry drabbles. Rating subject to change.
1. BJs in PJs  an adult slumber party

**A/N:** A drabble filled with a prompt left by shaesweetie at the puckrachel comm on livejournal. Prompt at the end.

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><p>Rachel wakes up that morning to see a new event invite on her Facebook page from her boyfriend, Noah. She sees that it is for his birthday party and he's titled it "BJ's in PJ's - an adult slumber party". She can't help the sigh that escapes her at his silliness when she clicks on it so that she can RSVP. It's then that she notices she's the only one on the invite list. Rachel quickly clicks the "Yes" button because she simply can't let him have a birthday party by himself.<p>

On the night of the party, she dresses in her pajamas (it's a cute little pink tank top with a matching pair of boy short panties trimmed in black lace) and makes sure to put on her coat so that she will be warm and decent for the short amount of time that she has to be in public in order to get to his apartment. Then she grabs the bag of supplies she bought earlier in the day and heads over to his place.

When Puck opens the door he just smirks because he knew she'd come. After all, who can really resist a "slumber party" with him. He pulls her into the apartment and kisses her.

Rachel then steps back so that she can take off her coat, so she's standing there in only her pjs. She then opens up the bag she brought with her, pulling out something and says, "Let the BJs in PJs slumber party begin."

She's holding a four pack of Bartles & Jaymes.

Exotic Berry flavor.

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><p><strong>Prompt:<strong> (847): He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited. And for those that don't know, Bartles & Jaymes is a brand of wine coolers. Apparently there are some people out there that don't know this.


	2. Superhero Squad

**A/N:** Photo prompt from sarcastic_fina at the puckrachel drabble meme on livejournal.

data . whicdn . com/images/16308479/Schermafbeelding%25202011-10-13%2520om%252012.17.18_large . jpg

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><p>He's always loved Halloween, ever since he was a little boy. Being able to dress up, having a pillowcase full of candy at the end of the night and even being able to get away with a prank or two. It's literally his favorite holiday but don't tell his Ma that since she's all about Hanukkah these days and being as traditional as possible ever since she married that new man at their Temple in Lima, Daniel Goldberg. He doesn't feel like dealing with a Jewish mother guilt trip at the age of 28; especially not when he married "the most perfect<em> Jewish<em> woman" (his Ma's words, not his. But he wouldn't disagree) and has a kid of his own now.

So yeah, Halloween, greatest fucking holiday in his opinion and now he's got a son to dress up in all sorts of kickass costumes. Puck knows that if he left the costume choice up to Rachel that their son, Elijah, would wind up looking like one of the VonTrapp children or something. And there's just no fucking way he's going to have his son dressed up in some overalls made out of hideous curtains while traipsing across the Alps singing _Do, Re, Mi_. He's already got everything planned out, even bought the costume today. He had been hoping to find another Mario or Luigi costume like the one he got him last year but they were apparently all sold out so he wound up with Superman instead since Elijah has been hooked on the dude ever since Puck found the _Superman_ movie marathon on TNT one night.

He has their son dressed in the costume when Rachel comes home because he wants to make sure it fits. Puck even manages to uncover the blue Robeez shoe with a red guitar on it that has been missing for the past month (apparently one of their dogs has a thing for baby shoes) and paired them with the costume since the blue matches. Apparently this is going to be a musical Superman costume; whatever, it's still kickass.

When Rachel sees Elijah she can't help the big smile that comes over her face at how adorable he looks. She scoops him up into her arms and gives his cheek a loud smacking kiss which causes him to giggle. "I see Daddy bought your costume," she says to the little boy while looking at her husband.

Puck just smirks at her as he tells her, "Yeah I let him pick it out once I realized they were out of Mario. He's got good taste."

She beams at the little boy in her arms before placing him back down on the floor to play with his toys. "Well it seems that my slightly psychic powers came in handy today because I happened to buy costumes for Roxie and Max as well." Rachel then digs in the Petsmart bag that she brought in with her and pulls out a Wonder Woman and Batman costume for their two dogs.

"Fucking awesome, Babe," Puck says before he kisses her and then takes the costumes and goes off in search of the dogs. Once he's got them dressed, he gathers up his son and takes them all out onto their little patio and says, "Be Superman, Elijah." The little boy stands with his feet apart and his tiny fists up at his chest, in a standard fighting stance, with Roxie and Max sitting next to him as Puck takes a picture of the Superhero Squad_._

Seriously…Halloween…greatest fucking holiday _ever_.


	3. Mustache Mishap

**A/N:** Another photo prompt left by sarcastic_fina at the puckrachel drabble meme on lj. This one is ridiculously short.

data . whicdn . com/images/16367313/320162_274418675925843_209365825764462_923280_836605345_n_large . jpg

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><p>"Noah, why does our baby's pacifier have a fake felt mustache glued to it?" Rachel asks her husband.<p>

Puck looks over at his wife who is holding one of their newborn twins and tells her, "I had to make sure that I got the mustache sizing right for his Halloween costume. Aaron's going to be Mario."

Rachel just shakes her head as she laughs quietly at him and thinks that perhaps it wasn't the greatest idea ever to ask for gender neutral clothing for her baby shower (since they wanted to be surprised with the gender of their children) because they look remarkably alike at two months old. "You do realize that you put the mustache on Abigail, right?"

He just stares at her before saying, "Whoops," and plucking the pacifier from his daughter's mouth and switching it for a fake facial hair free one instead. "This little lady is going as Princess Peach."

"But of course," she says indulgently, with a small smile on her face for her husband's love of old school video games.


	4. Red Thread of Fate

**A/N:** Yet another drabble prompt from sarcastic_fina over at the LJ puckrachel comm drabble meme #8. Prompt at the bottom.

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><p>Rachel is laying on her bed working on some major project for her Western Civilization class (that she really just doesn't understand why she has to take when she wants to be on Broadway) when she feels a gentle tug on her right pinkie finger. The brunette doesn't think anything of it because she knows that her boyfriend can be easily distracted when he's bored and that he always likes to touch her in some way, even if it's just a simple touch. But then she feels a weird sensation, like something incredibly thin is slipping around her finger so she glances up from her book to see what's going on. "Noah, what are you doing?"<p>

Puck looks up from where he's tying the end of a red thread onto her finger and tells her, "There's an ancient Chinese belief that an invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break."

That's when she notices that he's got the other end of the thread tied around his own right pinkie finger and she feels a smile tug at the corner of her lips. She closes her book (after marking her place of course) and asks, "So you think we're destined to be together?"

Puck gives her a rare smile and says, "Of course, Babe, and I don't need a red thread to tell me that. But because it's invisible it means that all those douches out there don't already know that you're spoken for, so this is just a reminder to tell all of them to back the fuck off."

Rachel just moves further up on the bed and straddles his lap as she kisses him. Screw Western Civ (whoever really needed that crap in the end anyway).

And later that night, if while she's sleeping he happens to wind the red thread around the ring finger of her left hand and tie it off, well that's just a story for another time.

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><p><strong>Prompt:<strong> 27 . media . tumblr . com/tumblr_lg8ht7Rsc31qgz8jco1_500 . png

"An invisible red thread connects those who are destined to meet, regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may stretch or tangle, but it will never break."  
>—An ancient Chinese belief<p> 


	5. I'm Going to Disney World

Puck can't believe his incredible good luck. In the past few years he had finally been discovered while singing some of his original songs in some New York club, finally managed to get the girl (he and Rachel just celebrated their six month anniversary. Yeah that's right, he locked that shit down when finally given the chance at a real relationship) and now he was a Grammy award winning artist. He is doing his post award show interview with some magazine that he can't remember the name of to save his life when the woman asks him what is quite possibly one of the cheesiest questions he's ever heard of (and kind of remembers being a big thing back when he was a kid).

"So Puck, now that you've won not only Best New Artist but also Song of the Year, what are you going to do now?"

Looking up, he sees his wife across the room and sends her a wink as he says, "I'm going to Disney World!"

The reporter looks at him a little oddly but Puck doesn't care. It's a very well guarded secret (that only three or four people know about) that one time when Rachel was drunk, she had gone and gotten a tattoo of the castle at Disney World done right above her pubic bone because he was always calling that general area "The Happiest Place on Earth."

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><p><strong>AN: **Photo prompt filled for pristhebest on the drabble meme (#8) on lj. I took some liberties with the photo because it was just funnier that way in my head

**Photo:** 25 . media . tumblr . com/tumblr_lqi3cvE3Qm1qg25aio1_500 . jpg


	6. 8bit Mario

**A/N:** This was written for a photo prompt left by neimans on the drabble meme part 8. It's more about Puck's mom than it is Puck and Rachel but they are mentioned briefly.

**Photo:** d30opm7hsgivgh . cloudfront . net/upload/127883697_xPwFEhmM_c . jpg

Ava Puckerman was so excited. She had literally been waiting for this day for the past sixteen years. Her son had finally managed to get his head on straight when it came to one Rachel Berry and now he was not only married to her but they were expecting their first child; a son. She's known ever since Noah was ten that any future children he had would be subjected to his love for all things Mario Bros. Of course she had hoped that he would have outgrown the obsession that started at the age of five but his love for the Italian plumber just grew each year and so she finally decided to just give in and accept it.

That's when she had started working on the baby blanket that she was now folding and tying with a ribbon before placing inside the gift bag to give to her son and daughter-in-law at her baby shower. Even though it was just made up of granny squares using four different colors of yarn, it had still taken her well over a decade to make because of all the extra shifts she had to pick up to cover the bills and mortgage when her children were younger. There hadn't been much leisure time back then. But she just knew that her son was going to get such a kick out of having a baby blanket crocheted by his mom of an 8-bit Mario.

And if the, "This is _fucking awesome_, Ma," that he exclaimed later that afternoon upon seeing the blanket for the first time was anything to go by, she knew that all of her hard work had definitely paid off.


	7. Foreign Exchange Student

**A/N**: This is an AU prompt from the drabble meme part 9 left by feldhocky9.

**Prompt:** Rachel is an exchange student and the Puckermans are her host family.

So keeping in mind that Rachel is a foreign exchange student, I made her English less than perfect. So all mistakes in her speech are _intentional _and oh how it pained me to write them. I also put her words in her native language in English since 1) I don't speak it and 2) it's a bunch of symbols!

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><p>Puck couldn't believe the bad day he had been having. The football team had lost yet again, no Cheerios wanted to hook up with him after the game and his mom just informed him that he had to sacrifice <em>his<em> room for the next three months to the new foreign exchange student that was going to be staying with them. He was being demoted to the _fucking couch_. All he wanted to do was go and have a few drinks at the after game party (who cares if they lost) but no, he had to go home and meet the new kid.

Trudging up the stairs he opened the door to his room and started to change into some pajama bottoms (since he was going to be sleeping out in the open), completely unaware of the sleeping person in his bed. When he flipped on the light, Puck barely managed to contain his shout as he saw the figure sit up and rub their face.

The female teenager clutched the bedspread to her body as she cried out in Hebrew, "Who are you?"

Instead of answering he just stared at her. He looked long enough to notice the sleep mussed dark hair (it made him wonder if that's what it looked like right after she'd been fucked), big brown eyes, a very distinctive nose, a tiny Star of David necklace and white virginal looking nightgown before he was racing back downstairs. "Ma, why is there a girl in my bed?"

"Oh that's Rachel, Noah. She just got in from Israel," she started to tell him.

He had a dumbfounded look on his face as he asked, "Were they having some sort of sale on mail order brides at JewsRUs?"

Ava Puckerman lightly slapped the back of her son's head and admonished him, "No, Noah. She's the foreign exchange student I've been telling you about. Now go back up there and introduce yourself to her and be polite."

"Yeah yeah," he muttered as he went back upstairs. He knocked quietly on his bedroom door (how fucked up was that) and cleared his throat before entering. "Sorry about earlier, I just wasn't expecting you to already be here and asleep. I'm Puck by the way."

She gazed at him with a curious expression on her face before speaking clearly in almost perfect English, "Puck? Who are you? Mrs. Puckerman says that her children's names are Noah and Sarah."

He shrugged his shoulder and watched how her eyes tracked the movement of his muscles and smirked. "Yeah that's me, I'm Noah. It's just my friends call me Puck."

"Well seeing as how we have just met and are therefore not friends, I call you Noah. Although I do hope we be friends before my time here is over," she smiled at him. "I'm sorry for taking over your bed for next three months. I told your mother that I am perfectly fine sleeping on couch but she insisted that I have a bedroom."

Puck crossed his arms over his chest and noticed that her eyes were once again trained on his muscles and told her, "It's alright. I don't mind having a hot babe in my bed, although I usually prefer to be in it with her." He winked at her when she gasped. "Just let me know if you ever want me to join you in my bed."

He then walked out of his room chuckling to himself at the scandalized expression on her flushed cheeks as he pondered just how long it would take before he was back in his bed, preferably with her.


	8. Venn Diagram

It's been three months since the Finchel show ended _again_ and he still hasn't figured out how to go about asking out Rachel. They've been hanging out a lot lately; watching movies, spending time out at the lake, babysitting his younger sister and working on more original songs for his portfolio. He's going to school (in _fucking New York_ baby) for music composition and it's all thanks to the help of the petite brunette lying on her stomach on his bed working on her homework.

Puck can hear her humming along to whatever song is stuck in her head and he thinks it's kinda cute, especially the way her feet are tapping along to the rhythm which drags his gaze to the expanse of bare tan legs below her skirt. He reaches out and snags one of her calves making her to look over her shoulder at him and smile. "You should really be working on your math, Noah," she tells him.

He rolls his eyes at her before giving her leg a squeeze and looking back at his school book. Right now all he can see is a bunch of circles and numbers which he's sure should make sense but he just can't be bothered to think about it right now when he's got Rachel on his bed. He really wants to ask her out and wishes that he could just man the fuck up and do it already. Glancing back down at his book, Puck is suddenly struck with inspiration. He quickly rips a piece of paper out of his notebook and draws two interlocking circles and writes some words on the page before getting her attention, "Hey Rach, think you could help me out with this problem? I just can't seem to figure out how to get it right."

Rachel scoots up onto her knees and moves over to where he's sitting against his headboard and looks down at the sheet of paper he's holding out to her. She sees that he's drawn a venn diagram where on the left circle it says _What I Want_ on the right it says _What I Don't Have_ and where the circles overlap it simply says _You_.

She can feel the smile spreading across her face as she looks from the paper up to Noah and then back again. Rachel then grabs her pencil and tells him, "Well it's really quite simple, Noah. You just wrote down the problem wrong." She crosses out the word _Don't_ and writes in the word _Can_ before handing the paper back to him.

Puck smirks when he reads her answer and then pulls her body against his so that he can kiss her properly like he's been wanting to for forever. As their homework falls to the floor completely forgotten, the only thing he can think (other than how awesome it is to make out with Rachel Berry) is who knew math could actually be useful?

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><p><strong>Prompt:<strong> Left by sarcastic_fina on the drabble meme part 8 on lj.

26 . media . tumblr . com/tumblr_lqsov0jlPo1qbpwzeo1_500 . png


	9. Campfire Glow

Puck can't believe that he managed to convince Rachel to go camping with him this weekend. It's normally something that he does with the guys every summer but when he found out early in their senior year of high school that she'd never been he'd made it his mission to have her camping out in the woods with him before the year was over. She had tried to give him all sorts of reasons and excuses as to why she shouldn't. She had used mosquitoes, the cold air being bad for her voice and his personal favorite "What about _bears_, Noah?" He had just chuckled and told her he'd bring along some citronella coils, he would keep her warm and just rolled his eyes before telling her, "I'd pop a bear in the nose if he tried to hurt you, Babe." Rachel had just given him her special smile after that along with a sweet kiss on the lips before informing him that she trusts him and would leave all of the planning up to him.

That's how he found himself snuggled up to his girl by the campfire with the old quilt that he had snagged from his Ma's bedroom wrapped around their bodies. Rachel had apparently gotten cold since she had decided to wear a tank top, a pair of shorts and cowboy boots (yeah he has no idea what the fuck is up with the cowboy boots when you're going camping but whatever). Puck couldn't really blame her though since it was somewhere in the 40s right now and he knew that her petite body couldn't contain heat as well as his could.

He was busy pointing out the various constellations that he had learned over the years and telling her a little bit about each one. Astronomy was one of his secret passions that he had never really told anyone about because he didn't want to look like a nerd to the student population of McKinley. But Rachel didn't seem to mind this hidden facet to his personality as she just gazed up at the sky in wonder every time he showed her a new one.

She turned her head and rested it on his shoulder as she burrowed deeper into the blanket and his arms that were wrapped around her. They were silent for a little while just listening to the crackling of the camp fire. Puck enjoyed the way the light from the fire seemed to make her hair and skin glow. In the quiet of the night he heard her whisper, "Thank you for this, Noah. I'm glad my first camping experience was with you."

"Me too, Babe, me too," he told her as he placed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

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><p><strong>Photo Prompt:<strong> i32 . photobucket . com/albums/d18/Phelipa/tumblr_lhejw8wgIn1qcbw1ao1_500_large . jpg left by phelipa at the drabble meme part 7.

This one is going to have a companion piece drabble coming up soon and to everyone that left a review for my _Foreign Exchange Student_ drabble, I am currently trying my best to come up with a continuation of it in one form or another but I can't promise when it will be up.


	10. You Shine the Brightest

It's late at night when he finally gets home from his shift at the fire station and all he wants to do is take a shower and climb into bed with his girlfriend because he's so tired. They've been in New York for a few years now and just moved into a much nicer apartment than the little shoebox of a studio that they originally lived in, thanks to his recent promotion and the few roles that Rachel has managed to land in the chorus of some off Broadway shows. They even have access to the roof of the building where there's some sort of community garden that all of the building's tenants like to take care of.

Walking through the apartment he starts to strip off his dirty clothing and just tosses them aside knowing that Rachel will probably yell at him for it in the morning but he's just too tired to care. The promise of hot water and a warm body is all that rules his mind right now. He calls out her name and when he doesn't get a response he's not all that surprised. It's late enough that she's probably already asleep.

Once he's all refreshed from his shower, he tugs on a clean pair of pajama bottoms and heads towards the bed where he expects Rachel to be buried under the comforter but he stops short when he sees that the bed is empty. Puck backtracks out into the hall by the door and sees that while her purse, coat and shoes are still here that her keys are missing but he thinks that she can't be far. Sighing, he grabs his hoodie and stuffs his feet into his sneakers and leaves the apartment in search of his girlfriend.

Puck heads up to the roof since he knows she likes to go up there to think sometimes and he immediately spots her sitting on a swing that someone built up here sometime ago but apparently just left when they moved out. Probably didn't want to deal with taking it apart or something else like that. He sits down next to her and puts his arm around her shoulders so he can tuck her tiny body into his side.

Rachel's looking up at the sky as they swing silently back and forth. "Being up here makes me miss home."

Hearing this statement, Puck plants his feet on the ground to stop the gentle motion of the swing as he looks down at her. "What are you talking about? You hated Ohio. How could being up here in the city of your dreams possibly make you miss home?"

She just gives him a small smile. "I don't miss Ohio, Noah. I miss the stars." Rachel starts swinging again once his feet move and she continues, "You remember when you took me camping in senior year and showed me the stars?"

He nods his head. "Yeah that was a good time."

The petite brunette hums in agreement. "Well I can't see the stars here. I love New York and this is all part of my dream but I can't see the stars and I miss them."

"It's alright, Babe, you'll see the stars again. Now come on, let's go to bed because I'm beat and just want to sleep next to you."

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><p>A few nights later, Puck walks into the apartment after his shift in a much better mood even though it's still late. He sees that Rachel is curled up on the sofa waiting up for him. He secretly loves it when she waits up for him to get home before going to bed. He tosses a coat at her and says, "Come on, I've got a surprise for you," as he waits by the door.<p>

When she reaches him, Rachel giggles as he covers her eyes with his hand. "I can keep my eyes closed on my own, Noah."

He kisses the side of her on the temple and says, "Yeah I know but it's just more fun this way. Now come with me." He leads them up the stairs and on to the roof where he then removes his hand and tells her she can open her eyes.

Rachel blinks her brown eyes a few times as she takes in the sight before her. All over the trees in the rooftop garden are multiple strands of twinkling star shaped lights. She can't contain the bubble of laughter that escapes her throat when she realizes that her wonderful boyfriend has given her the stars that she misses so much. She tosses her arms around his neck as she kisses him before saying, "Thank you, Noah. It's beautiful, they're so bright."

Puck just kisses her again before whispering in her ear, "You shine the brightest."

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><p><strong>Photo Prompt:<strong> data . whicdn . com/images/10141138/photography158_large . jpg?1306389074 left by sarcastic_fina


	11. Use Me

**A/N:** This is your neighborhood friendly warning that this is a smut piece. It's not insanely graphic and detailed but it does involve things of a sexual nature so if it's not your cup of tea then please move right on along. Prompt is at the bottom.

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><p>Puck and Rachel have a fucking amazing sex life. He can get her off multiple times every which way from Sunday. He's not really sure what the fuck that saying even means other than he knows he keeps his wife happy in the sex department. But sometimes she'll come to him and he knows that she just wants to use him in order to get herself off. Nobody ever said she wasn't a selfish woman because she totally can be. But he's totally cool with it because she's just as giving when he comes to her later on and just unzips his pants and pulls out his dick.<p>

But now, now is all about her and her pleasure. Rachel's got him on their queen size bed with his hands tied together above his head to the headboard. She's gotten a hell of a lot better at tying the knots because he can't break free from them anymore with just a few flicks of his wrists. She nimbly settles her lithe little dancer's body over his head, as her legs rest on either side of his upraised arms and her pussy just mere inches from his mouth. He can see how wet she is, tell how aroused she is by her scent and he can't wait to get started because he fucking loves to eat pussy, especially hers. It's always been the sweetest and the noises she makes when she cums are out of this world.

He reaches his tongue out to try and get a taste of her but she just lifts her body up slightly and looks down at him as if to say, "Nuh uh uh." But then when _she's_ ready, she'll lower herself until she can feel his lips kissing her and her hips will gyrate in sync with his oral ministrations until he's got her coming apart above him, calling out his name, one hand thrown behind her to help support her body as the other grasps onto his short hair and holds his head steady as she grinds down on him in order to get herself off again.

And when Rachel feels like she can't take anymore, she'll just lift herself off of his body and snuggle into his side and taste herself from his mouth as she kisses him. He loves this woman so fucking much and even though he knows he's not going to get his dick wet right this instant, despite the raging hard on he has at the moment, he's fine with it because he knows she'll make good on the same sort of treatment later.

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><p><strong>Photo prompt:<strong> 26 . media . tumblr . com/tumblr_lpwa7rzFlj1qbqxw0o1_500 . jpg at the puckrachel_kink meme on lj


	12. Dear Diary

**A/N:** This was odd for me to write given the way my muse wanted me to tell the story. I felt like a 16 year old girl and I'm not entirely sure if I didn't manage to make Rachel sound like it as well. So I'm just choosing to believe that her inner voice/heart (when it comes to writing in her diary at least) still sounds like a young girl in love.

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><p>Dear Diary,<p>

I love my boyfriend, Noah Puckerman.

I know I've probably said it a million times before but I truly do. He can be so incredibly sweet when he puts his mind to it. I know that he would say that he's the lucky one in this relationship since he has me, but I honestly feel the same way about him. I'm so proud to know he's mine.

As you know, I've been having a really difficult time lately with all of the constant rejections from every audition I go on. I never even get a call back or get asked to stay and read a few lines. It's just so disheartening since this is my _dream_, to be on Broadway and see my name in lights on the marquee. It's all I've wanted since I was a little girl. I know I'll get there one day but in the meantime it just hurts and I feel so stressed out and I hate it.

But Noah, he's been so wonderful through it all. So supportive and understanding when things don't go my way. He's always there to comfort me when I break down crying, even though he swears up and down that my tears are like kryptonite to him. But his actions this evening…oh Diary, I don't even think there's enough words for me to properly express how I feel.

I came home this evening, after a long shift at work dealing with rotten customers and making horrible tips, to a completely dark apartment. But as soon as I shut the door and turned around I saw my name, literally written in lights, on the living room wall. Noah had bought some rope lights and attached them to the wall so that I could see my name in lights. But that's not the best part…Noah was also there and he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him!

It was so simple and sweet and wonderfully romantic and better than I ever could have imagined because it just felt right.

I said yes of course.

And then we made love with only my name on the wall for lighting. Afterwards, I told him that I never wanted to take them down and he just chuckled, kissed my forehead and said, _'whatever you want, Babe'_.

So yes, I love Noah Puckerman.

My fiancé.

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><p><strong>AN: **So was it as odd feeling to you as it is to me?

**Photo prompt:** d30opm7hsgivgh . cloudfront . net/upload/38195866_4gaiQmyM_c . jpg left by smartalli


	13. Birthday Party Blues

**A/N:** For once a drabble that wasn't created from any prompt but yet instead is just a lil!Puckleberry twist on real life events. So who else has the_ Rumour Has It/Someone Like You_ mash up from this upcoming episode of Glee on repeat on youtube (they really do need to get a repeat function) because it's not available for purchase on iTunes yet? Because I kid you not, this damn song has been stuck in my head all day and I want to own it already! So get with the program already iTunes and make me happy. Haha

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><p>Leroy and Hiram Berry couldn't believe how this could have possibly happened to their precious little star and on her birthday of all days. Rachel had been chattering constantly about her birthday party for the past few months. She was so excited to have all of her little friends come from her dance class. She had told them that she wanted an ice skating party for her fifth birthday since they were all a bunch of girls and her birthday was so close to the holidays. They had had no problem with the idea of an ice skating party since it's what she wanted. Leroy had ordered the cake, Hiram had purchased the decorations and they both did their best to buy everything that she had asked for on her birthday wish list.<p>

It was finally the big day and they had everything set up on the tables in the indoor rink. There were pink and purple balloons attached to each chair with matching streamers draped across the ceiling. Their little girl was wearing an outfit picked out especially for the occasion so that she could be stylish and warm at the same time. Her gifts that they had bought her were piled on another table in the corner with her pink ballerina cake just waiting to be devoured by a gaggle of giggling girls. There was only one thing missing from this picture perfect moment.

_The guests._

No one had showed up.

"How could this happen to our little girl, Leroy?" Hiram asked his voice distraught. "She must be so heartbroken that no one came after all her talk about how excited she was."

Leroy had a small wistful smile on his face as he replied, "Oh I don't know, Hiram. I don't even think our star noticed that none of the girls she invited from dance class showed up. If anything, I'd say that she's quite happy right now."

Both men watched as their little girl appeared to be having the time of her life out on the ice holding hands with the last person either man had ever expected to show up.

Hiram looked at the two children with a furrowed brow as they skated around the giant oval. "How did he even know? It's not like he was on the invite list."

"Does it really matter?" Leroy asked with a shrug of his shoulders. "He's here and Rachel is happy so I think that makes him the most important guest of all, even if he wasn't officially invited."

The two men hug each other and smile as they watch their daughter hold out her hand to Noah Puckerman and attempt to pull him up off the ice. Although they couldn't contain their surprised gasps as he stole a quick kiss on her lips before he skated a little ways ahead. They can already tell that they're going to have to keep an eye out for that one.


	14. What Goes Around Comes Around

Rachel sighed as she looked around. She was so upset that no one had showed up. How could their friends do this to him? The petite diva would definitely be giving everyone a stern talking to the next day for not showing up to Noah's birthday party like this. After all, it's not every day that a guy turns 25. She huffed and returned to their table with a bottle of his favorite beer and a drink for herself. She settled into the seat next to him and handed him the beer. "I'm so sorry no one came, Noah. But don't worry. I'll be letting each of them know just how rude they are to stand you up like this and how disappointed I am in them tomorrow."

Puck just chuckled at her. "It's ok, Rach. I don't get to spend nearly as much time with you as I want to. What with my job and your crazy rehearsal schedule. I don't really mind." He took a sip of his beer as he watched her eyebrow pucker in confusion and her lips pout.

"No it's not. It's your birthday and you deserve to have everyone that is important to you here. Especially since you hardly get to see anyone with how busy you are at the station," she told him. Her arms crossed over her chest as she huffed again and started rapidly tapping her foot which bounced her leg.

He looked at his best friend and said, "Babe, I don't care that no one else came. Everyone that is important to me showed up."

Rachel stared at him and scoffed. "But I'm the only one here, Noah."

"Precisely," he murmured as he set his hand right above her knee to stop the bouncing and leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Rachel, you're the only one that matters." He pulled back to look in her wide brown eyes before he kissed her.

The only thing he could really think about was that old phrase _what goes around comes around_. Puck remembered that when they were younger he was the only one that showed up to one of her birthday parties and he figured it was his turn to have a birthday party where she was the only one in attendance. So if he had to threaten an old friend or two into not showing up or let a few twenties exchange hands with some co-workers, he wasn't going to complain because in the end he got what (who) he wanted for his birthday. He was the birthday boy after all.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** I figured this would be a nice little companion piece to the previous birthday drabble. It's my gift to y'all on my birthday.


	15. He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not

Puck sighs because he really doesn't like going to these stupid JCC functions. They're always so pointless and none of his friends are here because they're not Jewish. Stupid religion. What good does it do a six year old anyway? He doesn't really learn anything at his family's weekly visits to temple and he's always just pissed off feeling anyway ever since his dad left them. Where was his Jew God then?

He looks around at the various people that are in the Rabbi's backyard. A lot of the older women are gathered around his mother and brand new baby sister and he just rolls his eyes because he doesn't see what's so great about babies. They're just tiny screaming, pooping and sleeping machines. He can't even play superhero with her. He really wishes Finn or Matt was here. They'd really make this thing more fun.

Puck spots a family with bright red hair and he can just make out the frizzy head of their weird son, Jacob. He shudders because the entire Ben-Israel family creeps him out and he really hates when his mom tries to force him to have play dates with the other little boy. However, he notices that the head the red brillo pad is attached to is staring at something quite intently. So he looks in that direction and sees none other than Rachel Berry.

Puck knows that Jacob already has a weird thing for the tiny girl, which is just weird in itself because they're still supposed to be thinking that girl's have cooties and not want anything to do with them. Although if he's honest with himself, he doesn't really think that about Rachel. She's nice enough in her own way and she's crazy talented along with being kind of pretty. He knows that she likes to put on one woman shows in her backyard and try to charge admission to the neighborhood kids.

The little brown haired boy can see that Jacob is itching to go over to her but Puck notices that she seems kind of upset and that being around Ben-Israel wouldn't make it any better. So he huffs a big breath and resigns himself to keeping her entertained for the time being so that Jacob will leave her alone. When he reaches her, he can see a large scattering of tiny white petals all around her feet and he can hear her sniffling. "Hey."

He smirks when her entire body jerks in surprise and she blinks up at him with her huge brown eyes and then he kinda feels like crap because he can see that she was apparently crying along with the sniffling. "Noah. What are you doing here?"

"Just came to see what's up with you. What're you crying for?" he asks as he sits down next to her after sweeping away some spare daisy petals.

She swipes her hand under her eyes to get rid of the lingering tears before replying, "It's silly really. I was just playing one of those games that I always hear the girls at school talking about at recess and I think I keep messing it up."

Puck nods and waits to see if she's going to continue. When she doesn't he prompts, "Which one?"

Rachel looks up at him quickly before glancing back down at the flower in her hand. She begins plucking off petals, one at a time while saying, "He loves me. He loves me not. He loves me. He loves me not."

"Oh. So what's the big deal then?" he asks still not understanding what's so big about flower petals and whether some boy loves you or not.

She sniffles again and tells him, "Well I think I don't think I'm doing it right because every time, no matter what, I always end on _He loves me not_. And I just don't know what to do."

Puck sits there quietly for a moment before picking up one of the flowers for himself and fiddles with it for a little bit before handing it to her. "That's because you're doing it wrong."

This flower only has one petal on it.


	16. Behind These Hazel Eyes

Rachel snuggles deeper into her fluffy down comforter, inhaling its freshly washed clean scent and sighs in contentment enjoying her day off. However she quickly awakens when she hears her one year old son calling out to her, "Mama." She rolls over and sees him standing in her doorway, rubbing at his bright hazel eyes, and she's shocked since he's never crawled out of his crib before. She tumbles out of her bed in her haste to check him for injuries since it's quite the fall for a little baby. Finding him blemish free she just hugs him tightly to her body and kisses his hair.

::::::::::

Rachel startles awake and shoots straight up in her bed and searches the doorway frantically. It's when it stays empty that she realizes that it was all just a dream. She doesn't have a one year old son with hazel eyes. She's not even pregnant. Hell she hasn't even had sex in the past three months!

However, she would recognize those hazel eyes anywhere and the petite brunette has always believed that she is somewhat psychic. So she pushes her hair behind her ear as she picks up the phone and waits for the other person to pick up.

"Hello, Noah. What are you doing this weekend?"

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><p><strong>AN:** Quite possibly the shortest drabble I've ever written but that's why they call it a drabble right? But yeah, I had a dream of this exact same thing while I was napping and I thought it would be cute as a tiny little story so I of course had to write it out. The title is courtesy of the Kelly Clarkson song and as you can see, the story actually has nothing to do with the song but I just wanted to give credit where credit is due.


	17. Unexpected Homecoming

**A/N:** So I woke up this morning to something wonderfully unpleasant (can you sense the sarcasm? haha) in my email this morning and felt the need to make myself feel better by posting a drabble that will hopefully get reviews that leave me in a happier place. Prompt from smc_27 Rachel comes home and Puck's wearing her bathrobe. There must be a good explanation for this.

* * *

><p>Puck sighed in frustration as he tossed yet another shirt to the floor in their bedroom because it just wouldn't do. They were all wrong. Everything was wrong. The only thing that remained hanging up in Rachel's closet was her skirts and as much as he loved them, they just weren't what he wanted right now. Actually what he really wanted was his fiancé back home but she still had a few more days on her latest publicity tour before she would be home and he just missed the ever loving crap out of her.<p>

He groaned again as he walked into the bathroom to look again for the elusive item that would satisfy his desire. One by one the cabinets and drawers were opened as he sifted through all of the various things that she had stashed everywhere. He threw his hands up in agitation and groaned because he just really needed to find it. Then suddenly he spotted something out of the corner of his eye and he grinned as he whispered, "Jackpot."

* * *

><p>Rachel unlocked the front door of the apartment that she shared with Noah and sighed in relief that she was finally home. She had managed to convince her publicist into letting her go home a few days early because she was just worn out and needed to be properly refreshed for when she returned to work. She knew it was rather unprofessional of her to shirk her duties like that but she just really missed Noah and wanted to see him again. She called out his name as she strolled through the apartment trying to figure out where he was at but the petite brunette stopped short at the sight before her. Her future husband was sleeping on their couch and he was wearing her bright pink fluffy robe that was covered in yellow stars.<p>

There just had to be some sort of explanation for this.

"Noah?"

He jerked awake at the sound of her voice. "Rach?" he asked in a garbled voice as he rubbed at his eyes. Puck blinked a few times and his face broke out into a big smile when he saw that she was actually there. "Hey Baby, what are you doing home so early?"

Rachel slowly stepped over to him and sat down next to him as she told him about how she talked her way out of the rest of the tour so she could get home sooner. "Noah, why are you wearing my bathrobe?"

"I missed you," he said simply.

"I missed you too, Noah, but that doesn't explain why you're wearing my bathrobe."

He looked down and began to outline one of the stars on the robe as he tried to hide the unmanly blush that stained his cheeks as he spoke, "Your scent was gone. I'd already cuddled it out of your pillow and you took all of your bathroom crap with you so it's not like I could just open a bottle and take a whiff. Then I found your bathrobe and the scent was still there and so I just kinda put it on. It's not like I thought you'd catch me wearing it or anything."

Rachel leaned over and gave him a sweet kiss because his answer was ridiculously heartwarming to her. "Well how about I go change out of these clothes and you can show me just how much you missed me?"

"Sounds good, Babe." He smirked as he watched her walk towards the bedroom but then cringed when he heard her shout his name angrily.

Whoops. He forgot about the clothes.


	18. The First Noel

Puck sighs when he spots yet another tabloid that features him and Rachel on the cover with some stupid moniker that is not Puckleberry. Glancing at it, he sees that it is Berryman this time. He doesn't understand why these people just don't understand that he and Rachel _are_ Puckleberry. He's dropped the nickname countless times in pretty much every interview he's ever been in since getting together with his girlfriend. It's hard sometimes being one half of a famous couple but between her strict rehearsal schedules and his time in the recording studio they still manage to make it work.

They've been together for a few years now and he's seen pretty much any combination of their names that these ridiculous paparazzi can think of; Nochel, Noberry (he hates that one because he has his Berry thank you very much), Noahel, Puchel, Racherman, Rack and Puckery. Personally he wasn't that against the last two since 1) he loves her rack and 2) Puckery rhymed with fuckery (who gives a shit if it's not a real word) and he was always down for being with his girl whenever he could be. But regardless, none of them were Puckleberry and that's what he wants these fucktards to get through their brains no matter what.

It's in December though when he finally loses his shit though. The latest headline reads

"_The First Noel – Puck spotted at Tiffany's_

_Is it a diamond or 5 golden rings for Rachel this Christmas?"_

He's beyond livid at this article's headline and moniker for a few reasons and he's unable to forget it all day so that when he goes on a television interview with Jimmy Fallon later that night and the man brings up the picture on the screen behind them he just loses it.

"OH MY FUCKING GOD PEOPLE! When are you going to realize that none of these couple nicknames you are giving us stick because they are all the wrong ones? Rachel and I are PUCKLEBERRY. Do you need me to spell it for you? It's P-U-C-K-L-E-B-E-R-R-Y," he says slowly. "We've been Puckleberry ever since the first time we went out in high school. So please for the love of God stop with all of this ridiculous crap that isn't Puckleberry. This last one is just fucking offensive."

Jimmy's eyes are as wide as saucers because he definitely wasn't expecting such an explosive reaction from his guest. He just thought it would be a cute little story where Puck may or may not hint at whether or not he's going to propose to Rachel this Christmas. "I don't understand. Why is it offensive?"

Puck's eyes are full of fire as he sneers, "_Noel_ has to do with the Christmas season and Rachel and I are a pair of badass sexy Jews. We don't celebrate Christmas. So to have a couple name that screams Christmas is just everything we are not. Get it through your heads people; Rachel Berry and Noah Puckerman are Puckleberry and they lived happily ever after. End of story."

::::::::::

That night's episode had the highest ratings in the show's entire history.

::::::::::

The next time Puck sees a tabloid that features Rachel and him he can't help but smirk at what it says:

_Puckleberry – Everybody's Favorite Berry_

_Puck proposed! Find out her answer inside_

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><p><strong>AN:** I was going to wait another day or two to post this story but then I thought what the hell and decided to go ahead with it since I've been holding on to it for a few weeks now. *shhh* It's from a prompt left by kimmiwatch at the drabble meme on lj.

_Puck and Rachel are both famous and dating. The press gives them a couple name that isn't Puckleberry. Puck is not amused and keeps casually dropping Puckleberry into any and all interviews hoping it will catch on and get rid of the lame nickname the press has come up with._


	19. Ornament

**A/N:** Filled for a photo prompt left by sassycat at the drabble meme. Another holiday treat from me to you.

Photo: rlv . zcache . com / will_you_marry_me_marriage_proposal_engagement_ornament-p175226859829317868vx2ld_152 . jpg

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><p>Its afternoon on Christmas day and all of the Glee kids are descending upon their former director's house for the festivities. They've been having this little get together for a few years now even though not everyone makes it all the time. This is only the third or fourth time that Puck and Rachel have been able to make it, but it's their first one together as a couple, they've been dating for about a year and a half now. When the email invitations went out in late October (Will likes to give them all plenty of notice so that they can plan appropriately and save money for flights or gas), they discussed it and decided that they could go this year because her show was ending in early December and he had been working a lot of overtime lately so he deserved a break and they could definitely afford it.<p>

When they walk in the door, they see that all of their old high school friends have managed to make it this year. It's the first time that they've all been together since most of them graduated in 2012. The couple makes their rounds of hugs, handshakes and pleasantries while getting caught up on everyone's lives that they haven't seen or talked to in awhile.

Rachel compliments Will on his wonderfully decorated tree and she can already spot their secret Santa ornaments that have their names on them. When Will started this holiday tradition he also started a gift giving one as well. Every year in late November to early December, once he had the rsvp list, he would randomly draw names and assign everyone someone else and then mail them an ornament with that person's name on it. They would then have to write something on the back of the ornament for that person and not sign it before mailing it back to their old teacher for him to put on his tree. Then on Christmas day, they would all grab their ornaments off the tree and read out loud to everyone what someone wrote for them. They all liked to try and figure out who wrote their message but sometimes it was just nice to know that people thought nice things about you even if you don't know exactly who it was from. It was a great idea for when they were all poor college students that just stuck and now it was done every year, regardless of how many people showed up.

Once it was time to get the ornaments, Rachel immediately went on the hunt for hers. It's no big surprise to anyone there that she loves to receive gifts, even if they are anonymously given. She spies her name scrawled across a red heart and she plucks it delicately off the tree. The petite brunette anxiously awaits her turn to read her ornament out loud as she listens to her friends read their ornaments one by one. Before she knows it, it's her turn and she flips it over and begins to read but then her breath gets caught in her throat. Her eyes fill with tears and she glances around the room trying to find her boyfriend and she spots him standing across the room. Her voice quivers as she says, "Noah?"

He slowly drops down to one knee and opens the box that had previously been hidden in his hand. Rachel and all of the other girls gasp as they realize what's happening. "Will you marry me?"

Her tears start cascading down her cheeks as she bobs her head up and down quickly. She rushes into his arms and cries happily into his broad chest while he just rubs her back and kisses the top of her head. Rachel pulls back and kisses him gently on the lips as she tells him, "Yes, Noah. Yes I will marry you."

He sees Kurt pick up the red heart shaped ornament and flip it over so that the words "_Will you marry me?_" are showing and watches as the guy heaves a romantic sigh with his hand upon his chest. As Puck slides the engagement ring on to her finger, he can't help but smirk at how well his plan worked. No one but he and know that he specifically requested Rachel's ornament just for this purpose.


End file.
